The End of Times
by Tharesa
Summary: Human!Castiel learns to live the life of his friends Sam and Dean. Or does he?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Dean woke to the sound of screaming coming from the room to the right of his, where Cas was sleeping. He scrambled out of bed and rushed into the hallway, almost colliding with Sam, who had presumably reacted the same way to the screams.

"I'll handle it." Dean said, and Sam retreated to his room. This was the second night Cas had been 'home', and Dean instinctively knew what was happening. He went into Cas' room, and heard the ex-angel's words clearly.

"No! Stop! Don't hurt him!" Cas screamed, thrashing in his sleep. It was surprising how coherent his words were; usually sleep-talk is muddled.

Dean went to the bedside after closing Cas' door, and he shook his friend to wake him.

"Cas, wake up." He said in a voice dry from sleep. Cas didn't wake, and instead screamed,

"You can't make me! I won't kill Dean!"

Dean froze, shocked that he was in Cas' nightmare. _What's he dreaming about? _The hunter wondered. He shook Cas hard again, and shouted at him to wake up. This time, Cas jolted awake and scrambled away from Dean until his back was against the wall. His breathing was heavy, and his eyes were full or terror and confusion. Dean sat on the bed silently, deciding to wait until Cas was fully awake before speaking.

Cas relaxed after a minute of staring at Dean, and his face became apologetic.

"I woke you, didn't I?" Cas asked rhetorically. His voice wasn't gravely anymore, and Dean still wasn't used to how high it was, comparatively.

Dean shrugged. "It's no big deal."

"I'm sorry." Cas sighed.

"Cas, it's fine. With a life like ours, nightmares are only natural."

"Do you have nightmares?" Cas asked. He had heard of them before, but thought they were a rare occurrence.

"Sometimes, yeah. Sam more than me."

"How do you make them stop?"

"I guess talking to someone about it works. For some people." Dean added, flinching slightly. He wasn't one to share his emotions with someone, and nightmares tended to be full of emotion.

"I don't want to think about it let alone talk." Cas shuddered.

"I guess I could stay here with you. Until you fall asleep. Sometimes that helps people, too." Dean added hastily. Half of him couldn't believe he'd suggested that, while the other half hoped Cas would agree.

"I don't want to be an inconvenience." Cas replied hesitantly.

"It's no big. Make room." Dean said, standing up again as Cas adjusted himself to the side of the bed nearest the wall. Dean crawled in next to him, and laid on his back with his arms crossed over his chest.

Cas laid down next to him, and their skin brushed slightly, causing them both to flinch away. When they were both settled, Dean closed his eyes.

"Night, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

A few minutes passed, and then Cas said forlornly,

"Dean, I'm so sorry."

Dean turned his head and gave Cas a confused look. Cas was staring at the ceiling.

"I told you, it's fine."

"That's not what I meant. I meant...I'm sorry. For everything. I don't deserve your kindness. Both you and Sam are too kind to me."

"We all screw up. That's life."

Cas didn't respond, and Dean closed his eyes again. The hunter was almost asleep, when Cas whispered his name.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"My nightmare...When I was being influenced by Naomi, she made me kill you. More than one-thousand times. At first, I refused. But then...by the end, I could do it in less than thirty seconds. Without hesitation." Cas stopped and glanced at Dean, who was now wide awake and watching Cas with a horrified expression.

"That's a rough dream." Was all he could think to say. Cas just shook his head.

"It wasn't a dream. I was reliving the past."

Dean easily connected the dots. If Naomi had forced Cas to kill replicas of Dean over and over, it explained why Cas had, at first, attacked him when they were fetching the Angel Tablet. It would also explain why Cas was eager to kill Naomi when she tried to warn them against Metatron.

"She lucky she's dead." Dean growled, furious. Cas didn't argue. He just continued staring at the ceiling.

"Cas. Look at me."

Cas turned his head, and in the cramped space their faces were a few centimeters apart. His blue gaze locked on Dean's green eyes.

"I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again. If I was an angel, I would've kicked Naomi's ass to the Cage. But even if I can't, at this point, it's you, me, and Sam against the world. And I won't let anyone, or anything, hurt you guys. Got that?"

Cas smiled softly. "Got it."

"Then go to sleep." Dean said, chuckling. Cas closed his eyes, and Dean watched him in silence for a while before falling asleep as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

After a week of sleeping with each other, Dean couldn't stand the looks Sam had started giving him and Cas. When he and his brother were alone in the dinning room (Cas was watching Kevin translate the Angel Tablet) Dean explained the situation.

"Sam."

"Yeah?"

"I'm just helping him sleep. That's it. There's nothing else going on."

"Uh huh." Sam said disbelievingly. He didn't need specifics to know who Dean was talking about.

"I'm serious."

"Whatever you say, Dean."

And that was that. Sam still gave them a sneaky look once in a while, but when he did, neither Cas nor Dean noticed.

Some weeks later, Cas was ready to go hunting with the brothers. He'd been training in the bunker with handguns, knives, and the punch bag ever since he got to the bunker, and now he was strong enough to help. On his first hunt, Charlie joined them, secretly given the task of keeping an eye on Cas by Dean.

Sam had located a trio of unusual incidents close to Denver, and they set out for the hunt in the Impala. Along the way, Sam further explained the case.

"There are people disappearing, and then reappearing in the same mall. None of the victims remember what happened to them, and no one saw anything strange."

"That's weird." Charlie commented.

"No shit Sherlock." Dean said sarcastically.

"What's a 'Sherlock'?" Cas asked. His friends all laughed.

"He's a book character." Sam explained, and Cas just nodded. He still didn't know all the references his friends made. Maybe one day he would.

When they arrived in the suburb of Denver, they booked two motel rooms. One for Sam and Charlie, and one for Dean and Cas. Even though Charlie hadn't been around for the nightmare-fiasco, she didn't ask questions.

Sam and Cas went to the nearest library, while Charlie and Dean went to snoop around the mall. All five victims had disappeared from the back corner of the Target, where the childrens' books were kept. They looked for any sign of a trapdoor or some sort of transporter (they couldn't help themselves; the situation felt too Star Trek) they found nothing. Then they snuck into the security room. Dean replayed the tapes from the latest victim, and found what they already knew; the tapes had been wiped. The victim was there one second, and gone the next.

Sam and Cas had nothing to share when the group reconvened. They were gathered in one of the motel rooms. Dean was sitting across the table from Sam, while Charlie was sprawled out on one bed and Cas was sitting on the edge of the other.

"There's no connection." Sam said, referring to the victims. Dean sighed.

"The only thing we saw was that the tapes were wiped. But we already knew that, so that gets us no where."

"Maybe it was a security guard? They could have spied on the people, attacked, and then later wiped the tapes." Charlie suggested.

"Maybe. But why return them? Monsters don't usually do that." Sam pointed out.

"The only thing missing is their memory of their captivity, yes?" Cas asked. Sam nodded.

"I say we pay these people a visit." Dean suggested.

"Let's. Charlie, Cas, you stay here."

"Let the F.B.I. Handle this." Dean added jokingly. Charlie snorted.

"As if."

When the brothers returned, they found Charlie and Cas eating pizza and watching soap-operas.

"So get this, every victim has completely lost their fears since they returned. One girl was terrified of dogs, and now she's begging her boyfriend to get one. Another one was afraid of swimming, and now they sped all their time at the gym pool." Sam said, sitting at the table. Dean sat across from him.

"So whatever this is, it's taking away their fears?" Charlie summed up. "That's not so bad."

"Nobody does stuff like that for kicks." Dean countered. Charlie frowned.

"Then what, are they storing up fear-energy like Monster's Inc.?"

"Hell if I know."

"Well, whatever's doing this needs to be stopped. What if some guy's afraid to kill himself, gets taken by this thing, and then does it? That's not so good." Sam said.

"So what's our next move?" Charlie asked.

"One of us has to get caught by the thing and gank it." Dean said.

"Brilliant." Charlie groaned.

Dean grinned. "What's your worst fear, baby-cakes?"

"Hearing you call me that." She shot back.

"Ladies, please." Sam said, snapping his fingers. Dean gave him a look that Sam ignored.

"I'll go." Cas volunteered.

"Okay, Cas will go." Sam agreed.

"Woa, woa, woa. Cas is new at this. I don't think it's a great idea to toss him into the fire." Dean argued.

"Dean, I'll be fine. I know how to handle weapons."

"Besides, Cas has fought worse things than a fear-erasing monster." Sam added. Dean looked over at Cas, who held his gaze challengingly.

"Fine." Dean snapped and glared at the floor. It wasn't that he doubt Cas' abilities, he simply wasn't sure Cas would know when his human body hit its limits.

That evening the group went to the Target. Charlie and Dean stayed in the Impala, since they had already been inside and the thing they were trying to hunt may have seen them snooping around. Sam went to the cards section near the books where Cas was to wait. Cas began flipping through the books, while Sam covertly kept watch. Half an hour passed, and Sam wasn't sure how much longer they could get away with Cas looking at kids' books before an employee got suspicious. They'd told Cas to say he was looking for a nephew if he was asked, but Cas wasn't perfect at covert operations.

Sam had only looked away from Cas for a few seconds as he maneuvered around the card shelves to make his way to the ex-angel, but when he looked back over, Cas was gone. Sam searched for him, but when he found nothing he went back to the Impala.

"I think the thing has got Cas."

"You think?" Dean snapped.

"Well, he vanished." Sam didn't snap back, knowing that Dean was worried.

Dean grunted in response and hoped Cas would be able to hold his own.

"How long was each victim usually gone?" He asked after they had waited an hour. The store was going to close in ten minutes.

"The soonest was an hour. The latest was an entire day."

"I wonder what makes the difference." Charlie thought out loud.

"Maybe the depth of their fear?" Sam suggested.

"Would you two just shut up?" Dean snapped.

"Dean, Cas is our friend, too. We're all worried." Sam tried to comfort his brother, but Dean gave him a dirty look.

The store closed, and there was still no sign of Cas.

"Maybe he killed it and he's trying to find a way back." Charlie said hopefully.

Another half-hour passed.

"Dammit, Cas, where are you?" Dean muttered to himself. They'd had to move parking spots twice now to avoid security, and another patrol vehicle's lights were flashing nearby.

"I think we'd better call it a night." Sam said wearily. Dean shook his head.

"Dean, I get it, but they're gonna tow the car if we don't move. Besides, Charlie's asleep."

Dean glanced back, and found that she was indeed sleeping. "When did that happen?"

"Awhile ago."

"Alright. One more swing by the doors, and then we'll go." Dean relented. He started the car, and slowly drove past the Target entrance. There was still no sign of Cas, and so they went to the motel. Sam and Charlie went sleepily to their room, and Dean to his. It was the first night in weeks that Dean had slept on his own, and he felt empty without Cas sleeping beside him. He always felt lesser when Cas wasn't with him, but with all of the time they'd recently spent together, Dean felt like a drug addict on the third day after quitting.

A/N: Besides a bit of character development and a teeny bit of plot this chapter is irrelevant and I don't know why I even wrote it in the first place.

I promise that this will get better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

When Dean woke, he found Cas lying next to him, watching him.

"Cas!" Dean shouted, awake instantly. He sat up, and Cas did as well.

"Hello, Dean."

"What took so long? We waited for hours!"

"I...I'm not sure how to explain."

"Just tell me what happened." Dean demanded.

"Gabriel happened." Sam interrupted. Dean hadn't noticed his brother, and he turned to find him and Charlie sitting at the table in the room.

"I thought that dick was dead." Dean said, shocked. The last time they'd seen Gabriel was way back when they'd been trapped by a bunch of loser-Gods.

"Apparently not. And he still has his powers. Which is why he was able to change people and wipe their memories and the security cams."

"So where is he?"

"He took off, according to Cas."

"Then what took you so long to get back?" Dean repeated to Cas.

"Gabriel's 'base' was in Kansas. I had to take a car."

"Please tell me you didn't steal someone's car." Dean groaned.

"I believe I did." Cas said sheepishly.

"Dammit, Cas."

A/N: Gabriel isn't going to be a big part of this story. Just FYI. In fact, the past chapter was just to set up characters and plot. It gets better I swear. Chapter four soon! Hang in there!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The group had been back at the bunker only two days before Sam found another job. This time, it was only an hour long trip, and it was a standard monster hunt. A trio of vampires were hunting in a small town north of the bunker, so Sam, Dean, and Cas headed out to stop them. When they arrived at the vampires' hide out, they did a quick stake-out and then went in armed to the teeth. Each of them took on a vamp. For Dean and Sam, it was an easy machete-to-the-neck operation. Their opposition went down in minutes. Cas had chased his downstairs, into the basement of the small building. The brothers could hear shouting and crashing coming from below, and they immediately went to see what was happening.

Cas was pinned against a wall, meekly swinging his machete at the vampire as she approached him with bared fangs. He was covered in blood. As she closed in, Cas dropped his knife, and the vampire drew in just inches from his neck. She never made it. Her head rolled off her shoulders and she fell to the floor, revealing Dean, who was standing behind her. Dean glared at Cas.

"What the fucking hell were you doing?!" He shouted.

"I-I-" Cas stuttered. Dean cut him off.

"I thought you knew better, Cas! Don't _drop_ your weapon!" Dean snarled. Then he turned and stalked up the stairs. Sam went over to Cas, picked up the machete, and helped him out of the building. They found Dean in the drivers seat of the Impala, grumbling to himself.

They drove for an hour in silence, and then Dean pulled over and got out. He went over to Cas and pulled him out of the car. He looked him up and down, then heaved a sigh.

"How hurt are you?"

"I'm f-fine."

"Then why are you covered in blood?"

"It's not mine; the vampire was eating when I found her." Cas' voice was uneven, and Dean's eyes narrowed.

"Just don't do that again." He said, and got back in the car. Cas did as well, and they went the rest of the way 'home'.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The next hunt was a Wendigo in Mississippi. Sam, Dean, and Cas found it easily enough. It was hiding in a cave in the forest. They went in, armed with flares and knives. It was dark in the cave, but the Wendigo was easy to knock out. Or at least, that's what the brothers thought. After they killed it, they started leaving, only to realize Cas wasn't with them. They rushed back, and found the ex-angel sprawled on the floor and covered in blood. There wasn't a weapon in a ten foot radius of him, yet Dean had given him multiple before they'd gone in.

"Son of a bitch! Cas!" Dean yelled, and shook him to make sure he was awake. Cas coughed and sat up a little. In the light of Sam's flashlight, Dean saw a little blood dribble from the corner of his mouth. Checking him over, he saw multiple gashes in his stomach.

"Hold still." Dean's voice wavered, but he wasn't going to admit his fear. He scooped Cas in his arms and carried him to the car. Sam got in the driver's seat while Dean laid Cas down in the back. He went around and got in the passenger side, and then he got in the passenger side. Sam drove to the nearest hospital, and the staff took Cas immediately to surgery. Dean paced outside the floor while Sam sat in a chair, bouncing his leg.

"Dean, I don't think he should come with us again."

"Ya think?" Dean snapped, running a hand through his hair in agitation.

"Well...I think Cas might be trying to get himself killed."

Dean froze, and stared at his brother in shock. "What?" He said in a hoarse half-whisper.

"Back in Denver, I mentioned that it would be bad if someone who was afraid to kill themselves met the fear-stealing guy. Cas volunteered to go right after that. Thankfully it was Gabriel. Then, with the vamps, he dropped his knife. Then here he got hurt. I don't even know what happened to his weapons." Sam paused, noticing that Dean was shaking.

"Dean?"

"You're right. Son of a bitch." Dean sat down, still shaking. He leaned forward on his knees and hid his face in his hands.

"What are we going to do?"

"I dunno. You should talk to him though. He'd listen to you more than anything."

Dean just nodded. He couldn't believe it, and yet it was the only thing that made sense. Cas knew how to fight, and he wasn't afraid, not after two-thousand years of this life. It didn't make sense.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

A month later, the rules had changed at the bunker. The brothers had required that Cas stay inside the bunker at all times. The ex-angel spent his time reading, listing to the radio, or watching the TV that Dean had bought a few months ago.

One night after a hunt, Dean found Cas already asleep in his room. He quietly snuck into bed beside him, but he woke him anyway.

"Dean?" Cas whispered groggily.

"Hey, Cas. Go back to sleep."

"Where were you?"

"Hunting."

Cas chuckled. "I could have guessed that."

"Go to sleep." Dean insisted. He closed his eyes, and Cas did, too.

"Dean!"

He jolted awake at the sound of his name being shouted. Cas was leaning over him slightly, and Dean immediately saw that he was crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't deserve you." Cas whispered hoarsely. Dean looked up at him in confusion.

"What?"

"I don't deserve anything. After all the sins I committed, after all the creatures I killed, I should still be in Purgatory. Better yet, I should be dead."

"Cas." Dean said shortly. He sat up, forcing Cas to as well.

"It's true and you know it. Not to mention how useless I am as a human. I shouldn't be here, my siblings have–."

"Shut up!" Dean snapped, cutting him off. "You aren't useless, Cas, and you never have been. The first time you lost your mojo you helped us out, and you've helped us this time, too. Don't you remember what I said, before we were popped into Purgatory? I told you I'd have you even if you were the last man at on the team. I still would Cas. I don't care if you're weaker than you were, that's not important. What's important that we stick it out together. Got that?"

Cas shook his head. "You're wrong." He sobbed, burying his face in his hands.

"Cas." Dean's voice shook with emotions he didn't even know he had. He didn't say anything else and pulled Cas into a hug. Cas gripped Dean's shirt in his hands, and in only a few minutes his shirt was soaked in tears. Dean rested his head on Cas' shoulder and held him as tightly as he could.

"I'm sorry." Cas whispered raggedly.

"I love you." Dean whispered back. Cas froze, mid-sob.

"What?"

"I love you, Cas. So don't do anything stupid."

Cas didn't respond. He did, however, stop crying. Only an occasional tear slipped down his face. Dean made Cas lay down again, but he kept the ex-angel wrapped in his arms. He wasn't going to let him go anywhere.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

AN: This chapter will have the theme of suicide. So if that's not something you want to read, I completely respect that. Thank you for reading this far!

When Dean woke up in the morning, Cas was gone. He felt the bed, and it was still warm, so he couldn't have been gone long. The hunter got up and got dressed in a black t-shirt, jeans, combat boots, and finally his jacket.

He found Sam at the table, reading a book and eating scrambled eggs and bacon.

"Have you seen Cas"

"Yeah, he came by about ten minutes ago. Said he was going outside for fresh air." Sam told him.

"Son of a bitch, he'd better be." Dean said, immediately jumping to conclusions. He went outside, but found the driveway and surrounding area empty. Now Dean had two theories: one, Cas was running away. Two, he was going to do something extremely stupid. And Dean had a feeling it was the latter.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sam had followed him out of the bunker, and was now concerned because of how worried Dean seemed. Dean popped the trunk of the Impala open, and then groaned in frustration. A rope was missing.

"Sam. I think Cas," He paused to take a shaky breath, "I think Cas is going to kill himself."

"What? Why?"

"He freaked out last night. Something freaked him out." Dean said rapidly, pacing the trunk.

"Then we've gotta find him." Sam said, and then dragged his brother out to the woods. The started running and called out for Cas as they did so.

When they couldn't see the car anymore through the trees, they stopped.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled, frustrated, "Where are you Castiel!"

"Dean, he could be anywhere. This forest is huge." Sam sighed. Dean shook his head.

"This can't be happening, it just can't."

"Let's keep going." Sam said, and he took off in a different direction. Dean followed him, determined not to give up on Cas. They had to find him.

To his right, Dean heard something crash onto the ground with a _thump. _Then he heard a voice curse.

"Sam!" He shouted, then wheeled to his right and dashed to the sound. It took him seconds to find the source of the noise.

Cas was sitting on the ground, dressed in his trench coat, suit, and tie. The rope from the Impala was hanging from the tree, a noose already in place.

"Cas!" Dean shouted, and the man's eyes snapped to his friend. Cas scrambled to his feet, but instead of waiting or running toward Dean, he turned and started running in the opposite direction. Dean chased after him, and caught him easily. He knocked the ex-angel to the ground, and Cas landed on top of him.

He tried to get away again, but Dean wrestled him until Cas was sprawled out below him, pinned by his wrists. They stayed that way, panting and staring, until Sam showed up.

"You found him!" Sam huffed, only slightly tired from all the running. He knelt down next to them, and glanced between the two of them.

"Let's go back." Sam said after a moment. Neither his brother nor the ex-angel responded.

"Guys?"

"Why?" Dean whispered, then louder, "Why, Cas?"

"I told you. I shouldn't be here." Cas responded. His voice was detached, as if he was mumbling a thought out loud. Dean glared at him, and then leaned down and kissed him shortly on the lips. Sam got up.

"I'll be at the bunker when you get back." He said. Now that Cas was safe, he wanted to give him and his brother space. He would talk to Cas later.

"What do I have to do to convince you that you matter?" Dean said shakily, and a weary look briefly crossed his face. Cas opened his mouth to speak, but Dean kissed him again, harder this time.

"I don't want to lose you, Cas. Ever." He said a moment later. Cas just watched him, blue eyes on the brink of tears.

"Say something."

Cas whispered, "I don't deserve you."

Dean kissed him again."It's not like I deserve you, either. You're a child of God, Cas. Literally."

"I've killed so many people, Dean. I've committed so many crimes against Heaven. I deserve to die."

"No, you don't. Not when I need you. Let me make something clear, Castiel. No one is going to take you away from me. Not even you. Got that?"

"I love you." Cas mumbled, and tears began to slide silently down his face. Dean smiled and kissed a tear away, then kissed him.

"Don't_ ever_ scare me like that again."

"I won't."

"You better mean it, Cas."

"Kiss me again and I'll show you how much I mean it." Cas said, his voice slightly gravely, just as it used to be. Dean grinned and initiated another kiss. Cas wiggled his left wrist free from the hunter's grasp and rested his hand on the place his hand print was from all those years ago, when he went to Hell and back for Dean. He tightened his grip, forcing Dean to kiss him longer. The ex-angel kissed him back, with more passion than he had ever remembered feeling in his long, long life.

When they paused for breath, Cas thought back on how much he had sacrificed for this man. How much Dean had sacrificed for him. How many times they had nearly died for one-another. He felt ashamed. Even though minutes ago he had felt that he was doing the world a favor by getting rid of himself, Cas now saw how wrong it was of him to do that. He was still needed here, even if Dean was the only one who needed him. He was still important, even if it was one man out of billions who thought he mattered. The more Cas thought about it, the more he came to terms with it. If Dean was the only one who needed him, then Dean would be the only one he needed. They would stick it out together. No matter what.

"I love you. And I mean that, too." Cas said, and for the first time, a genuine smile stretched across his face.

-end-


End file.
